July triggered a lot of emotions related to our "getting pregnant journey". The bizarre thing is that the type of events which took place never bothered me much in the past but this time, I suffered massively. It was all to do with our friend's children who had her birthday, learned to cylce their child or their yearly family holiday, etc.

This time it was all very different ...

It´s the usual stuff. We got more news about pregnancies this weekend - one friend is now expecting twins and two cousins are expecting as well. While I am very pleased for them which I really mean, again and again it raises the question "when is it my turn and why do I not deserve to be pregnant?"  In the past, I would never react like that as I felt that there was still some time left and therefore, thought I still had plenty of opportunities. The fact that I am turning 40 in September does not make it easier.

As usual, I have my good and bad days. Of course, sometimes, the bad days get worse when there are some setbacks at work or any other area which just fuel a bad day into a very bad day.

One thing which is very good which is the fact that it has been an extremely nice weather, the sun has been out everyday and it feels like summer which of course always has a positive impact on your mood. At least, that works for me, sunshine does wonders for me.

This is really funny as normally, Easter is not the time of year that I get emotional. However, this year, it felt like I wanted to be with my family. The only reason I can think of is because of the drugs I am having to take which usually make me slightly more emotional as the usual.

But there was a nice surprise as our neighbours invited us at the very last minute and we had a lovely time. A fantastic lunch in the garden as it was really warm outside followed by plenty of more food and drink.