On Saturday, our neighbours invited us to their BBQ. Some of their family, more of their friends and us, it was a really nice summer evening with a lot of food and wine.

One of their friends, who we never met before as they live in Scotland, just got married and when we started chatting, obviously, the subject of the conversation went automatically into children.

We are now 11 days after the IUI or insemination process took place and we are still going and are very hopeful.

As usual, the body seems to behave in a very strange way and you don't have a clue how to read the symptons which makes it very frustrating. In the morning, I usually suffer from stomach aches but after a while, they disappear and only come back occasionally during the day.

My appetite for food is not so strong as it used to be and although I am eating healthy, I am not very hungry for most of the day.

Although it's windy, it's a nice sunny day today. England celebrates Mothers day today.

There's been a real build up to Mothers day as it gets more commercial every year. You simply can't avoid it as there's advertising and promotions everywhere and the supermarkets, shops and restaurants/pubs are gearing up for all those fathers/husbands and kids buying presents, flowers, chocolates, ... you name it. It's right in your face.

As usual, we went back home - which is Belgium - and spend a week seeing friends and family.

I know that it might sound stupid but when I did my last IVF cycle in September, I was absolutely convinced that I was going to get pregnant.

It was all planned in my mind, when I was going to tell my family and friends, how I was going to tell, etc. I was so much looking forward to write my Christmas cards and write "Merry Christmas and Happy 2007 from Dirk, Ingrid and ?" as I would have been 3 months pregnant and have passed the so-called danger period and therefore it would have been the perfect timing to tell everybody.

Christmas is one of these milestones in a year, the same like my birthday or wedding aniversary which create expectations and hope.

Yesterday, I went to the local supermarket and it felt like I was bumping into all these pregnant women.Of course me thinking, why not me???

Anyway, I need to get used to it and get over it as otherwise I will be sad for every pregnant women I see. I do not want to end up in such a situation so I need to build up my strength so I can get on with my life so it would be easier to cope with.

However, to make things worse, in the afternoon, we had a short visit from our neighbours and I was extremely worried as they looked so serious as it looked like something disastrous had happened. But also, the other thing was that we were getting together in the evening for a dinner party.

You might know that I am a Belgian national living in the UK. Although we are well settled in the UK, some traditions will always stay with you.

One of these traditions is Mother's day which we celebrate in Antwerp on the 15th of August as it's linked to the Christian calendar. Of course, we have been hoping already for a long time to become parents, hence why I have a bit of a bad day today from an emotional perspective. Generally, I am quite good but I suppose that there are always some days during the course of a year which trigger a very emotional reaction. Although my birthday and Christmas have not so much to do with traditions, these are usually also difficult days for me as I always think that a pregnancy would be the nicest present ever.