Becoming an egg or sperm donor is a wonderful thing to do, but it does carry with it some massive implications, things that need to be thought through carefully and most probably over a period of time. You will need to consider how you will feel if you find out your donated eggs have resulted in a pregnancy.

You will be able to find out some non identifying information such as if any /how many children were born from your donation, their genders and the year of their births. You will not be given any further information.

Since 2005 you cannot be an anonymous donor. The child has a right to identifying information at the age of 18yrs, you must consider very carefully how you and your partner will feel if the child wants to contact you. These feelings could vary tremendously depending on what has happened to you in the mean time. For example will you feel differently if you have never managed to have a child yourself? If this is the case, how will your partner feel when a child with a genetic link to you turns up – but he/she will have no genetic link to your partner.

You will be asked to give some details, things like your name, whether you have any children, your appearance, your ethnic group, your medical history, your job, your religion, your skills / interests, and your reasons for donating, you may also like to include a good will message and a description of your life achievements, this all important information helps the child’s parents to talk to them about their origins as they grow up it helps the child build a mental picture of you.

You will have no legal rights to the child nor will you be named on his/her birth certificate. You will not be asked to support the child financially. Payment is not allowed, you can however claim expenses and loss of earnings. For egg share, you may receive a discount in the cost of your treatment. You cannot be offered sterilization in return for becoming a donor.

You cannot be sued for any medical condition any child may suffer from, unless it can be proved you have deliberately withheld any relevant facts about you or your family’s medical history (disabilities, physical or mental illness).

Blood tests are taken to test for any infectious risk including HIV. You will be required to give written permission for your eggs/sperm/embryos being used in treatment. You are entitled to change or withdraw consent at any time up to the point at which your eggs/sperm/embryos are transferred to the person being treated. This is the case for any embryos which may have been frozen for use at a later date.

Consider very carefully who you will tell, for example any other child you may have, aunts, uncles, and grandparents - anyone who maybe involved if subsequently the child decides to contact you. When thinking about this consider the possibility of a child trying to contact you after you have died – this can be a huge shock for other family members if you have not told them of your donation. It also leaves them with lots of questions which can never be answered. I do know of families who have left letters with their solicitor giving their reasons etc. to be given to their families should this ever happen. If you do decide to tell your child you must also be prepared for the world to know of your situation, they cannot be relied on to not announce it in the school play ground / supermarket etc!!!

Lastly you need to consider very carefully how you will feel if any child that has been conceived by your donation decides never to contact you. Of course he /she may not know how they were conceived. Although guidelines at present suggest a child should be told, it is not compulsory – it is left to the child’s parents. Again how you feel may depend greatly on what has happened to you in the mean time. It is also important to remember that although a child is given identifying information at 18 years, he/she may contact you many years after that age. Could you cope with the knowledge that a child may or may not contact you at some point for the rest of your life?

Please do not be put off donation is probably one of the most generous and precious gifts you could ever give another person. It certainly changes people’s lives. It just shouldn’t be taken on lightly. Good luck to anyone who is thinking of going down this road – you are very special.

Article written by Victoria Allen who is a holistic fertility therapist.

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